Neither gun time nor chip time accurately reflect all the life factors that
contribute to a race result. This calculator fixes that.
Adjustment Explanations
Single people should run faster, what else have they got to do?
Your no-doubt gifted and talented progeny are a joy and blessing every day.
Except race day of course, when you remember how much more time you could have
had to train and how you could have afforded those fancy Nikes.
"Work is the curse of the drinking class", and of race times. Studies show work gives
less time for running, recovery, and is generally bullshit.
Age is just a number...that represents how much the grim specter has sapped your
vitality.
It's unfair that races shouldn't all be run in one's prime, so we adjust accordingly.
More weight makes it harder to run, and losing weight is one of the most efficient
ways to get faster, but what are you gonna give up, alcohol? Ice cream? Nonsense.
If you are, you should go faster.
It's not fair that you went slower just because you didn't prepare. Let's fix that.
The cause and solution to all life's problems is also a cause of slower times.
We adjust for what you should have run if you weren't constantly dehydrated.
If you can find someone to run a race at your behest, you should go faster.
TODO: Add, 'Did you listen to them?' as a followup question.
Knowing all your friends, followers and stalkers may be privy to your shame should
have incentivized you to go faster. Introverts need their time adjusted to account
for what they would have run with social pressure.
If you are related to the Gods of the Game, of the same blessed gene pool as
Haile, Bekele and Kipchoge, you need to represent.
They say it doesn't get easier you just get faster.
That's true, until the grim specter of aging saps your vitality.
It's not fair to have your time penalized because everything you do is undermined
by everything you think.
Everybody knows these are for destinations first and running second. Adjust to what
it should be on a normal course.
It's not really fair if you called on God and it actually worked, adjust for human
times. Also, if you were representing a deity you should step up your game, we
adjust for secular motivation.
Us very attractive people are not well-liked, but it has to be admitted that
everything in life is easier the better looking you are. Too easy. Adjust for
normal life difficulty.
Not fair that only the miles actually run are counted.
Heat steals your vital fluids. Adjust for full-fluidity.
Let's face it, you would have gone faster in those things, the springs in the shoes,
your own vanity, living up to the clothing would have demanded it.
Adjust for the time you would have run in fancy pants.
You didn't choose any of those things, but you have to live with them. That's not
fair to your time.
Adjust for what you would have run in normal health, physical and mental.